Made this for expressing my thoughts, feelings, opinion and plans.
Made a lil bit cleaning and fixing on this site, i especially love the background since i love dark ambient but calming vibe, i did get it from FDG. Today my throat is really itchy but i got lazy earlier so i didn't get a chance to buy some meds. And ykw i finally got some couraged to block her, i mean it's not really good on me plus i really have to stop my self on expecting & assuming things, it's really so bad, btw i might not come on here for a meantime since i have to focus on my self (love myself) and stay away from gadgets as far as i can, and I'm planning to jogging tomorrow so goodbye!
I'm feeling empty and dissapointed rn, am i really that obvious?. I hope that someday, this damn feeling will begone.
I'm disssapointed on my self today, i just got 85% in 1st quarter and i'm only in top 5, i taught i can be the top 2 but guess what, the one who i hate was the one who got the top 2, yeah i'm jealous, I'm literally jealous at her. I hope i can actively recite on recitations, i hope i can face my ---- .
Draining the hell outta me again. This is why i hate liking someone coz i'm getting delusional taughts again. AM i that worthless?, i just want to feel loved. I hope this is the last time i will feel shit again, ig i'm really hopeless romantic huh.
I'm still in shock, yesterday was one of those days na i've felt so happy. Yk talking to her makes me feel various of emotions that i never felt in my entire life. It's kinda funny too bcoz my jaw yesterdayhurts so much due to smiling so hard hahaha. Wow sunsetz by cigarettes after sex is really good. And today i was wandering what to get in my college wheather i'll stay on the strand i've take or shift on computer because rn i'm still confused, right now i'm kinda missing her and you know what i changed some things here since she saw this site accidentally. I hope i already fixed this one.
Can't fucking believe that she still have effects on me. Earlier i saw her recent featured photos and yeah i fucking cried, just why is she's so fucking charismatic and fucking hot. I almost take a screenshot of those pics lol. And yeah we finally talk to each other since wednesday i think. Oh btw she confessed on me last wednesday too, she said she got crush on me again but i think it's kabag lang lol.
I saw her today, i mean i saw her multiple times lol, in the mass gathering event earlier in quadarangle and multiple times on stairs. I was really embarrased earlier cause the teacher shouted at me coz i didn't get the memo and she's literally on the side so in that moment of time i'm really praying to dissapear. And the moment we go down in 1st floor we saw her w/ her friends and ykw when we're finally walking past to each other someone's says "ehem" LMFAO i was really trying to hide my smile under the mask> but my friends burst out laughing when we get on 1st floor ag. My one friend earlier told me that she was staring on me while we're on mass but i think it's just a joke since that friend loves to tease me w/ her. And last, earlier when i was stalking her fb acc i saw some morse codes on her bio and yk naman how curious i am and yeah dyk what it said?,, "crush ulit kita tih pretty mo"..and now i'm confused coz i'm curious if it's me or not, but i have a lil hope that it was me.
I really taught i moved on na but guess what who's crying over a fucking song. Just when the hell will i hear song that not's about her. I pity my self for falling on her, I miss my old self, the day i still didn't know she got crush on me on those days. I wish i didn't met her.
This day is tiring as hell, my head is kinda heavy and aching as well and ig the only way to cure this, is taking a nap. Earlier we went to EIM lab to do parallel circuit operations and guess what i got 8/10 on my paper but on the actual processing on connecting wires to bulb,switch and circit breakers is goodbecause i made those 3 light bulbs lit out.